Monday, September 3, 2012

Dating in Utah: "So you're saying there's a chance"

So it's been a while since I've blogged, I'll be honest. Life becomes a pretty good distraction at times, however I'm on my "comeback" tour if you will. So how has everybody been over the past few months? Any crazy dating stories or life events? I hope everyone is doing great and living the dream. So I guess I owe it to the blogging world to let you all know that this blog will be written from a decisively different tone. Anyone who has been around me over the past few weeks that my dating life has gotten a bit more interesting, and for the first time in the history of my blog I'll be writing this blog from the perspective of someone in the beginning stages of a committed relationship. So I hope you don't mind me sharing a bit of my individual perspective of how different life can be when you have someone significant to share your time with and some hints to get things started at least to help you develop your budding love interests.

1. Being open is the key to any successful relationship
I'll be the first to admit that I have trust issues when it comes to relationships. I wish that I didn't have to deal with them because I'm convinced that I would have been a more successful dater to this point. However, the one thing that helps me deal with my own trust issues are open and sincere communication. In the three weeks that I've been dating "Bon Qui Qui"(per her request) we've had our fair share of open and honest discussions about our feelings and status in life. She has really done a good job helping me deal with my own insecurities by being up front about her past and her desires which has helped me grow to trust her more and by her being open with me, it helps me know that she trusts me and that's a responsibility I take to heart. The fact of the matter is that is that by being open we've already avoided a lot of issues that could have ruined our relationship from the get-go. 

2. Your own personal insecurities don't go away just because you're in a relationship.
I feel like a big part of the reason that I've had a history of being a serial dater in the past is because I was too insecure with my own state in life to actually deal with the commitment that comes hand in hand with relationships. These personal insecurities and vulnerabilities haven't gone away over the past few weeks, if anything they have become more apparent. However one of the great things about "Bon Qui Qui" is that she has been willing to listen to my concerns and to help me deal with my own issues. I feel like that is one of the main reasons things have gone so well to this point, even though we each have our little quirks and insecurities, we've listened to each other and made an effort to help each other feel better about our own personal issues. So even though relationships automatically make you vulnerable, two people working together makes things a bit easier to deal with.

3. Embrace the quirky nature of relationships
Fact: anytime two people try to make any sort of romantic connection, there is going to be some awkwardness at some point. Just let it happen, if you make someone feel embarrassed or self-conscious during this transition toward a relationship it can prevent your relationship from being fully open. People are quirky and have their own individual ticks, recognizing and accepting those quirks is the first step to developing a real open communication pattern.

4. Girls secretly do want nice guys.
One of the first things I asked "Bon Qui Qui" after we started dating is why she was interested in pursuing something with me.The first thing she mentioned without hesitation was "you're nice." Obviously there is more to it, but I can say without hesitation because I went out of my way to make sure to show her that I cared about her, she gave me a chance she probably wouldn't have otherwise. Obviously it's not a perfect formula, but if you can be ok with yourself enough to treat people right while still being confident, people will want to date you at some point.  Be patient, because being with someone who wants to be with you is worth waiting for.

So I know that might be some generalized information but I feel like if you can start a relationship out on the right foot, it will make the long-term details and outcome a little easier to handle. I don't know if things will work out between me and "Bon Qui Qui" long-term, but I know that I'm content currently and I'm going to make sure that I do my best to make sure she knows that I care about her. Anyways, now onto my favorite part of the blog, the part where I get to post awesome music. Enjoy!




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