Thursday, January 19, 2012

Dating in Utah: The Pursuit of Happiness

So up to this point, I've blogged my opinions about all sorts of stuff, trying to help people find success in dating. Today I'm going to take a different approach, I've never really talked about what I want out of a relationship. So if this post is considered vain or inflating, that's not my intentions consider this more of an ad out of the personals or an about me on an online dating profile. I'm realize that my views on dating differ from a lot of other guys, I've never really viewed dating as a competition or a trophy show. That sort of approach to dating really has never made sense to me, you know like the whole "make out and move on" approach, sure you get your kicks but to quote Kanye "in the end, it's still so lonely..." I don't know what my problem is but I have a hard time dating someone that I don't feel like I could have a real emotional connection with. Call me crazy but I  don't have a specific criterion on what I would consider a perfect woman either. I figure if I had a list it would probably get in the way when I actually found "the one". I mean sure it would be nice if the girl of my dreams was a brunette with a gorgeous smile, but if she's blonde or a redhead it wouldn't stop me from giving it a go. I guess the only specific criteria I personally have is that whoever I end up with make me happy and that I can make them just as happy to be with me. I guess some of my biggest regrets are the times that I tried fit a square peg into a round hole, either for my own satisfaction or because I felt like I would be letting the girl down if I didn't give it a shot knowing that although they were great people, I really didn't feel like I could be truly happy with them. Call me crazy but isn't that what we all want out of relationships? Yet I'm left to wonder how many times I gave up what could have been a real lasting relationship trying to pursue something that in the long run I knew deep down wouldn't work out. I wonder how many times I stared happiness in the face and glanced away. This probably sounds really simplistic but when it comes down to it, how many problems in relationships would be solved if just truly wanted to be with the person we were with  and they wanted to be with us just as much. Would their be trust issues? Sure everyone would still have their quarrels and disagreements but if we truly wanted the best for both parties, we would do everything we could to resolve the issues and move forward. Call me idealistic, but I'm not convinced that I need a huge house on the coast or a couple of fancy cars to be happy, I just want someone to hold close me and who wants to be seen by my side. I guess the reason that I decided to write this blog today is because I believe that most people feel this way, both men and women, so let's be honest with each other. Let's get over our little games and be frank with people, it'll help to get rid of the awkwardness in our lives with the people we care about. If you're not happy where you are, try something else, if you are happy but that happiness isn't reciprocated, have the courage to realize that you can't be truly happy with someone who isn't truly happy to be with you. I hope this doesn't sound preachy or remedial; I really just feel like if we could keep things in perspective, we'd all have a bit more success in dating and in life down the road. So may your pursuit of happiness bring you what you seek no matter what it may entail.

1 comment:

  1. There is so much truth in what you write. Out of experience just going on one to three dates you know if you are emotionally involved or not. I have turned down a few guys just after the first date even because I was not feeling it. I have never really dated anyone, but in my eyes I feel like you should make each other happy.