Sunday, December 25, 2011
Dating in Utah: A Toast to the Scumbags!
K this week for a Christmas special I'm gonna step up the bluntness a bit, let's talk about tools, and by that I don't mean things that you use to fix your car, I mean guys like Kanye West, you know tools like that. Funny thing is that women love tools, anyone who tells you otherwise is living in denial. Why do you think women swoon over rock stars, professional athletes, hip-hop moguls, and politicians? I only speak from personal experience, I've seen the tool phenomenon countless times. I've also heard countless girls crying over why they can't find a nice guy who won't break their heart, only two weeks later to see them with an even-bigger tool. If women really wanted to be with nice guys, well they'd be with nice guys. Now that I've offended every female reader, let me try to redeem myself, I don't think women are the problem here. It's common knowledge that women are attracted to confident men and sometimes arrogance can actually seem like confidence. So one can logically conclude that women are going to be attracted to men with egos, power, money or at least potential to have all/any of them. This doesn't mean that women have to settle for men that are complete tools. The truth is that if a guy treats you like a tool it's probably because he's really insecure with himself in some other aspect, he feels like displaying dominance and blatantly rude behavior towards you is somehow a way to reestablish himself as a man, so if you let him do this to you, you're reinforcing that behavior. Don't ever let yourself be taken advantage of in a relationship! You are worth so much more than that, so don't put up with it! So let's talk a bit about the tools themselves, if you fall in this category, there is hope. You've probably noticed that if you try to get into a relationship with someone, things don't go as smoothly as they portray them in the movies. You've probably blamed everyone else for your problems or you just call yourself a player and pretend like you don't care... The first step of getting over yourself is recognizing that you have a problem, and that you can actually become a better person by changing. Even if you don't realize it now, you too want a fulfilling, validating relationship at some point in your life, and you've already got the confidence so leave the high school jock routine behind, nobody cares anymore. Instead try to make other people feel important, you don't have to leave your identity behind, but a little extra effort caring about other people's feelings has never ever hurt anyone's dating life. You don't have to be Doctor Phil, or even Dr. Oz for that matter, but by make others feel important and letting go of your insecurities will help every aspect of your life immensely! I dare you to try this out on your own and see if it doesn't help you become a happier person and a more successful dating life! Finally let's talk to the people who are the most likely to actually benefit from this blog, the nice guys... I sympathize with the nice guys, mostly because I consider myself one and have heard the "you're a great guy, but just not for me" line my fair share of times. The truth is I will never give up the nice guy thing, I feel like women are meant to be treated with respect and dignity no matter how many times I get turned down because of my lack of jerkish behavior.However, I think the real reason that nice guys have a hard time with dating is because a lot of them are lacking confidence in their ability to form long lasting relationships with girls, and girls know when you're lacking confidence! I repeat girls know when you're lacking confidence! and the truth of the matter is that a lack of confidence will cause you more trouble in dating than anything else. Listen, you can't be afraid to a girl you care, they want to feel important, they really do want gentleman, but at the same time, this doesn't mean you have to completely emasculate yourself. Stand up for yourself! Be proud of the way that you treat women, if you have an attraction to a girl, show her instead of being afraid what she might think if you ask her on a date. I've made this mistake countless times and it's cost me relationships because I let myself get walked all over with my own doubts like does she really want to be with me or is she making excuses just to avoid me? However, when I put my own insecurities aside and just be honest and confident in my ability to be attractive people, things usually work a lot smoother. I'm not a jerk to the girl, actually I try to be as sincere with my compliments as possible, and the funny thing is I find myself getting close to some semblance of a relationship and I didn't even have to be a jerk about it... Nothing is more satisfying.